BigShoes

This evening you’re going to get me to blah-blah-blah over one of my favorite topics…ads.

Really, it is hard to say if my discussion of Jaws is more responsible for the politician ads than any discussion of politics I’ve posted in the past few weeks. I thought I’d talk movies and perhaps in a few days I’ll see some Jaws ads but currently we are inundated with politics. Perhaps it is the very nature of the business in the heated election year.

So, if you were shopping politics, please tell me which it would be? The story of Barack Obama Exposed or are you really hankering for that McCain Palin Beanie Hat which would look great with whatever you might find located at the ad a few ads down offering crossdressing shoes. McCain Palin Beanie Hat, could we get the story on McCain Palin future policies instead?

What does Google think BigShoes is all about?

So in light of Open Water I have to ask if you have a list of movies you wished you never watched. Some so called great movie where you either went to the movie theater and bought the whole nine yards of buttered popcorn and a bucket of soda…oh and don’t forget the sticky candy that your mom wouldn’t let you eat when you were a child…or you wasted two or more hours staring at the TV in the comfort of your own home, violated to be sure.

I’ll be honest; I’m weird and usually get the movies that others “don’t get,” remember Dead Again. I had a few friends walk out of that movie because they couldn’t follow it.

I figure some movies with high expectations still entertain considerably more than some with no expectations at all and vice a versa. It all evens out. Let’s call it the yin and yang of moviedom.

Since I’m tired I probably can’t list too many movies off the top of my head and for some reason Ishtar screams out as the worst movie ever. I mean really, Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty this is the best we could do?

There has to be a worst movie…probably the many I’ve seen featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3000).

Let’s take a break from politics for a bit. Maybe I can find something else to rile me up…hmm…how about a bad shark movie? Beware a bit of a spoiler follows.

Yes, my daughter and I happened to catch a shark movie this weekend called Open Water. Apparently it was a hit at Sundance back in its day…2003. It wasn’t Jaws, I can certainly attest to that. It was more of a psychological thriller that was somehow based on a true story about a couple lost in the Barrier Reef during a scuba diving outing.

So picture the Blair Witch project on water…only not as intense or annoying. It ended with the same feel as the Dutch version of the The Vanishing (a downer). Since both my daughter and I were thinking Jaws we were deeply disturbed at the end of the movie and then she tells me it is based on a true story…whoa, great.

I did look it up today and sure enough it is loosely based on the story of a couple who did get left behind and whose bodies were never found. So the story was all pure speculation as to what really happened to them but I’m certain the inference of them loosing their minds and probably getting dehydrated weren’t far off the mark.

As I said, my daughter and I were thinking along the lines of watching a pseudo Jaws movie this weekend…thanks WGN in Chicago for the most obscure and disturbing movie of the week.

Right in the gut people.

Okay we are officially done for. Stick a fork in us we are done. I don’t understand why there isn’t a revolt complete with flaming torches and pitchforks. You hang on every word hoping to learn something but then find you have to read about it the next day and find out which statement was debunked. I don’t know about the rest of you but my time is more valuable than this. I don’t know if I never paid enough attention or that due to my age it is easier to find myself disallusioned.

Here is what I want from the government.

- an independent report on each of our candidates from ALL parties with numerous YES/NO questions on where they stand

- no campaign trail or stump speeches, report will give us all we need to know from a detailed job application that each party has completed…kind of like we fill out when we apply for a job, complete with a background check

- NO television ads, direct mail or unsolicited phone calls

- and for fun, how bout they all apply anonymously…it won’t cost anything to run, heck, Joe Sixpack can even apply, I don’t need to weed out the competition, why can’t we have more than one or two guys/gals to vote for?

Doesn’t that sound simple?