BigShoes

BigShoes hasn’t had a rant in a long while so I’m going to rant away. I should actually call this post FedEx Sucks since I actually found that out of all the hassles of car buying, expecting that FedEx could find a residential house on a major road is plain and simple expecting too much.

Car buying was a breeze, especially since 90 percent of the time was my husband sending emails to dealerships asking for quotes on what he specifically wanted. About 8 percent was spent on blowing off dealers who weren’t interested in giving you a quote on what you asked for as much as they were interested in strong arming you to visit their dealership or in having you tell them what you wanted to spend. Look my husband and I want to spend $0, what do you think about that?

Wake up salesmen, it is the internet age. Give the people what they want or they will not bother with you. Don’t waste my husband’s time; don’t call incessantly without giving us a quote and don’t try to find out what we can afford so you can sell us more than what we asked for.

Well car buying would have gone smoothly in the last two percent of the process if not for FedEx. One percent was spent visiting one dealership and picking and buying the car without the hassle of visiting the ten or more places my husband asked for a quote on. The last percent of purchasing a car was waiting for FedEx to send the title for the car we were trading in that we immediately paid off days before our purchase.

Imagine our surprise when we were told FedEx claimed our address was incorrect. I’ve been living at my address long enough to know what my address is. Imagine even greater surprise when the company informed our bank that they wouldn’t send out the title regular mail because FedEx returned it to them as an incorrect address. So FedEx is the be all and end all of what constitutes a valid address? Insert many expletives at this point.

What can I say, FedEx sucks. It wasn’t even a month prior that they were trying to find the same address to deliver a dang part for the car we had to get rid of. The part was late and there were some cryptic messages for the driver regarding the address taped to the box. Obviously it wasn’t incorrect then and someone finally was successful in delivering that package although they weren’t clear on what the problem was finding us.

As someone with extensive knowledge in direct mail it seems to me an address is incorrect if you bring it to the house and someone says “sorry, you have the wrong address.” Duh. I called and angrily complained with them about their service. Don’t they ask neighbors if they can’t find a place? Why don’t they call when they are looking for your address? I used to work for a company that used FedEx and I know we had to always have a phone number on the form. PLEASE it is not for decoration.

Imagine my surprise when I searched FedEx sucks online. Yes, they are that bad. Search FedEx and incorrect address and you will fall over laughing. If there are that many incorrect address complaints there is something seriously wrong with your freaking service. I like the stories where people at home get nobody home for delivery notices and then there is no further attempt and all of a sudden it is an incorrect address. How convenient.

FedEx actually needs a new return message that says undeliverable due to “incompetent service”. They can add a number for how incompetent they believe they are on a scale from one to ten, trust me, you’re a ten if you can’t find the nearest FedEx hub to return a package to.

But all that aside, the company who is holding the title to my car, their policy not to send something via mail because FedEx sucks is beyond comprehension. It is the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard of.

Luckily our bank didn’t charge us for the FedEx service that we never received, however the dealership was probably out of money since they had to try to get the title from the DMV.

My message to all readers, boycott any service provider that sucks. I’ve told FedEx I will ask every business I purchase from if they use FedEx. If they do I will not do business with them. There would be no point because they can’t find my house, even though it is on Google maps and the USPS has assigned me a zip 4 and everything. Here is one blogger who won’t be complaining when they raise the price of stamps. At least the post office knows where I live.

What is in a name? More than I can tell you that’s for sure but I was never short on words when it came to names. Which names? Celebrity baby names, Social Security most popular names, hurricane names and my own name.

I ask you, where do you want to start? Why baby names? Well pretty much these are my rants on shame on the government spending tax money to share the most popular names, shame on the “media” for grading celebrity baby names, shame on those that name hurricanes and shame on parents who need a license to name their children something not too embarrassing.

Do I think it is important? Yes and no and when you read these posts you’ll see why. This is one of those topics I receive numerous, sometimes bizarre hits on, especially the Social Security Baby Names post. I’ll recommend some cool baby name books for you so you don’t have to rely on the government for what’s in and what’s not in baby names…and always remember, parents, even celebrities can make bad baby name choices. Please, name your child with caution.

Social Security Baby Names
Pitt and Jolie Baby Names Make the Grade
Hello Dolly
Talula Does the Hula and the Name Game

Okay it may be a little premature to say this since I’m not quite sure yet. But it is very possible that Jaws is the number one post topic outside of the topic of shoes at BigShoes. What does that say about me? Or more importantly what does that say about you if you’ve returned, weren’t you passing through for a nice pair of flats, heels or boots?

Yes, a year of BigShoes and what do I have to show for it? Hungry sharks. Today is a good day to write about sharks as I watch a few shark movies on SciFi and have to comment that what is up with Beowulf on before the Spring Break Shark Attack premiere? I spend an afternoon watching Raging Sharks and Shark Attack 3: Megalodon and then we slip in some Beowulf before the main attraction. Looks like some network is too worried about changing their name from SciFi to SyFy than they are about inconsistent programming. Do you think the logo will be written in bubble letters?

No worries, here is the BigShoes Shark Year in Review starting with 4th of July weekend 2008. This will keep you busy if you aren’t a Beowulf fan.

I Go Swimming
This one is really about really cool music and sharks.

If You Missed Jaws This Weekend
Don’t have time for your favorite movie. The YouTube movie in this post sums up Jaws in 60 Seconds.

And I Missed My Jaws’ Marathon
I know, really, all that buildup and I missed it. That’s okay you get my quick commentary on all four Jaws movies…you didn’t even know there were four, did you. Okay if you did, who is still alive by the time we get to the fourth?

Don’t Go In The Water
Oh yeah, this was a good one. A real life news story that I really, truly, sincerely had nothing to do with.

Music from Jaws
Guess what, Labor Day weekend was approaching and I of course had Jaws on my mind AND they were having another Jaws’ marathon. Time to break out the popcorn and find something appropriate at YouTube to share.

Robert Shaw
We remember Quint.

Jaws Labor Day 2008
What can I say; it is Labor Day finally and we have a tribute to Roy Scheider. I reminisce about the next time I will get to talk about Jaws.

Not Jaws
I thought it was Jaws related, but alas it was NOT.

*****

Then there were the Jaws cameo appearances in the following posts, really not intended to be posts on Jaws but referenced none the less.

Talula Does the Hula and the Name Game
Tag You’re It
The Shining
Sizing Up Sasquatch
Blah Blah Blah Ads

*****

…and then the announcement of the BigShoes Birthday Bash…I await with anticipation till the time (20 days later) I can get around to posting my references to Jaws, lucky you, today.

BigShoes Birthday Bash
The BigShoes Story
BigShoes Movie Kinky Boots

Okay, maybe I DO understand why my husband looks at me strange when I say, “Hey, Jaws is on!”

I don’t know if this is an omen, happening on the birthday of BigShoes and all, but both Humor-Blogs and Blogerella approved me. Now the pressure is on to write more of my milk spewing from the eyes humor…or whatever it is that you drink…geez I hope it doesn’t burn. Ok maybe I won’t be that funny, maybe I’m an apprentice. I’ll go ask Nanny Goats in Panties…there’s a blog title that never gets old.

Don’t worry if I fall short I’ll keep some links handy for those who can finish you off for me when I’m having a sappy day. I find however that there are enough things in the world and my immediate surroundings to perturb me on a near daily basis and if I try hard enough I’ll find something to rant about. Take Danica Patrick for instance. I have at least until her 40’s before that gravy train chugs off into the distance, and you never know which new creative underwear Victoria’s Secret will sell that will impale or forever scar some unsuspecting woman…or man…I have no preference.

So I welcome any new readers and hope you don’t run away screaming from BigShoes, unless you are running to tell your friends.

After completing a whole year, I thought of posting the first BigShoes post today but then I thought it might be better to tell you the BigShoes story. Oh yes there is a story. I’m sure many a freelance writer is faced with writing about something they aren’t sure they want to write about. I had a history in freelance writing of health, nutrition and diet topics. I could tell you about the health benefits of exotic fruits and berries that I had researched, and I could share all the things I learned about green fuel and transportation…and I could be funny when the research warranted it, hey, you can’t make some of this stuff up.

I had done some humor and rant writing, written insulting quiz results for teenage girls having fun on the internet…or perhaps not after they read my insulting answers and I was looking for some better blogs. I can’t remember where I found the Today.com ad to sign-up, but I sent them an email saying I could write for their health blog they had advertised. A very nice man replied with a quick inquiry of could I write on women’s topics.

This is where you hear the needle scratch across the record in the middle of the movie. What? Women’s topic…this man has no idea…blech…women’s topics.

Turning point movie music as I stared at the email on my computer screen “eeny, meeny, miny moe” …trust me it was exactly like that.

Well maybe writing another health blog wasn’t such a good idea, people were probably worried about a conflict of interest, should I really put any stock into that old saying write what you know…maybe I’m the only woman who applied…heck they didn’t even have a women’s interest site, it would be new, how new…brand spanking new…I’d be getting in at the ground floor of this women’s interest site…“eeny, meeny, miny, moe”…just like that.

Oh I sent that man an email, something like sure I think I could do that…I mean after all what would that site entail…some fashion, some makeup, some pink whatever…I can do that, scribble, scribble, scribble….toss that outline in the waste basket.

Well as you see I did it, and it’s been a year. I never asked that nice gentleman if sports coverage (Stiletto Run) and a 4th of July Jaws weekend, (I think we did that on Memorial Day and Labor Day too) was fodder for women. Maybe the site name was misleading but they kept me around, even though the only shoe coverage was that Stiletto Run for a while. Like I’ve said before though, you’d be amazed at all the non-fashion shoe stories there are in the news. Who would have thought it?

Well, Happy Birthday BigShoes. I’m glad I didn’t delete that email. And the moral of the story for any of you writers out there…write what you know.