Category Archive

And we thought we were giving our US daughters self esteem issues. This takes the cake. Here is one of those commercials that never ends…much like this video. I do recommend you watch long enough to see the part where they dissuade breast implants. Gross. But eight minutes of this will drive you batty.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. What do you think?

Beijing 2008 Olympics - Carnival China at BigShoes. Go to our opening post on China’s lucky 08/08/08 on the Beijing Summer Olympics. We’ll be running Carnival China throughout the Olympics to keep you up-to-date at your convenience so check back at BigShoes often and visit Today.com for the many other bloggers who are keeping us up-to-date on the Olympics and news out of Beijing. Happy Summer Olympics!

Oh the excitement. I’ve read that the IOC had given the green light and declared China safe from pollution for the Olympic start in Beijing. Wow, I couldn’t imagine waiting for the green light from MLB or the NFL in regards to pollution concerns. I know nothing about pollution, with the exception of Philly I suppose. I hear stories about the west coast but I’ve never heard that we stop sporting events because of it.

Meanwhile they infer that the fog is not necessarily pollution. Well, it is not exactly a cloud bringing bad weather either.

Back in the states we are fighting for our right to run our cars on gas… maybe we could learn something as the world watches China. Hopefully we can learn more about ourselves then a country we think ill of…except when we purchase their affordable products.

Beijing 2008 Olympics - Carnival China at BigShoes. Go to our opening post on China’s lucky 08/08/08 on the Beijing Summer Olympics. We’ll be running Carnival China throughout the Olympics to keep you up-to-date at your convenience so check back at BigShoes often and visit Today.com for the many other bloggers who are keeping us up-to-date on the Olympics and news out of Beijing. Happy Summer Olympics!

And so there you have it Lewis Black says Bloggers are the root of all evil. Whether Lewis Black knows it or not, he is more of a Snarky blogger type then a standup comedian. If you took everything he says and put it down on paper, word for word, what do you have…a raving mad ranting BLOGGER! The only difference I see is that he has no follow through to publish his work online.

So Lewis, just join the ranks of the rest of us, it is time to sign up to blog. Visit us at Today.com, no need to pay someone to set one up for you and write it for you like some other celebrities do. Role up them sleeves and TYPE HARD AND FAST! You know you want to…

Come on everybody! Let’s give a shout out to Lewis Black so he can hear us.

Oh my gosh it is too funny and I’m trying to write my blog. I’m going to have to watch it on ComedyCentral.com later. Lewis Black’s The Root of All Evil is Ultimate Fighting vs. Bloggers.

Should I even give him a plug? Hey, so what is your take? Are we evil? Is there a point?

Maybe, maybe not. I know that as useless as my rant against Danica Patrick was yesterday, how much more useless is her rant against other drivers, how useless is racing, sporting events, the theatre, the movies…?

It turns into the age old question…Are you my mommy? No not that one… Why are we here?

Lewis’ verdict…BLOGGERS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

Let me count the ways…

Some may say that I have no right to complain about a woman in a sport that I no longer watch…for other reasons that I won’t complain about. Well, who asked you?

Listen I’m a racing enthusiast. I’ve actually flagged race cars at the SCCA level…way before kids…and won’t do it again and till those kids are on their own.

Anyway, why is it that every time there is news about IndyCar racing it is about Danica? Why is it that each time it is not positive?

Look sister, you may have the ride but you don’t own the road. And shame on IndyCar for letting this take place all the time. Don’t worry, you won’t gain any of the viewers you’ve already lost over the years, but you can certainly achieve the greatness of losing more.

Apparently someone is always in her way…ummm, they call that racing. And she always takes matters into her own hands…umm, they have stewards for that. But what bugs me the most about all this is the fact that she is giving women in racing a bad name. She is no role model for women in sports.

What you call passionate and respect for your sport is BS…BigShoe nonsense.

And another thing, not only do I not want to constantly hear about who has done her wrong; I think she should put more clothes on when she is not wearing that driving suit.

I certainly hope she never tries to get a ride in Formula 1, for once I’d have to agree with the men over there…maybe there shouldn’t be women in racing…at least one we know of.

I’m throwing a debris flag, there’s definitely some debris on the track. Someone clean it up.

While the Brits are busy complaining about Mattel creating a collector comic super hero Barbie (Black Canary Barbie) for age appropriate collectors, two young male entrepreneurs in Britain have created a teen game site targeted for girls called Miss Bimbo.

Instead of registering a pet frog, dog or iguana, teen girls are given a naked girl named Miss Bimbo to take care of. Feed, dress, keep her thin…

The clueless young men tout the social positives of the site in this news clip. You have an opportunity to send her to university and such. Umm, yeah, I’ll do that after we take a few diet pills and augment her breasts.

These dudes are so clever that teens are being charged a few bucks a text message to play in their game when they run out of virtual dough. Parents are not happy…my gosh, are they just getting clued into the fact that their girls are playing this game after they get a phone bill?

I hate to say what is our world coming to…but seriously folks, what is our world coming too?

So, which is more offensive to you?

Here’s some social commentary. I was looking for something fun for the weekend and thought I’d go to YouTube. I searched for funny women cartoons I think and this is where I was directed.

Are you as concerned as I am about this? Do you find humor in it? I’m sure the idiotic men in these cartoons were fashioned after some of the cartoon creators as well.

You know, this is a hundred times better than me writing about JAWS during the 4th of July weekend and then having some man claim to have seen sharks a week later where they shot the movie.

A hundred times…

Did you hear the one about Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii? That’s her name, don’t wear it out. Grow up, she’s only nine and you shouldn’t make fun of people so go pick on someone your own size, like her parents.

A judge in New Zealand made her a ward of their court system so he could rename her (shh, a secret name). Do you remember my last conversation about names a few nights ago? (See Hello Dolly, you really must keep up here).

Yes, he is keeping her name secret and was none to kind to the parents who had named her such. The poor thing told her friends she was named “K” instead of just saying I’m the child of dumb and dumber.

Are you ready for this…yes it gets better, what was I saying the other night about retiring names? Do you know that New Zealand has a law that does not allow hurtful names to be given out? AND the registration officials have “blocked” names…you know kind of like the retirement name list I said we needed.

In New Zealand it would look like this:

Fish and Chips
Yeah Detroit
Keenan Got Lucy
Sex Fruit

I kid you not. However the story did recount how Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence are still available for use…they must like their names.

There’s wind, there’s rain, here comes a hurricane, here’s Dolly!

Dolly? Dolly? What were they thinking to name a hurricane Dolly? Well apparently it was on the list and it won’t be the last time it is used unless it is devastating to the proportion that it is too traumatic for us (Katrina, retired 2005). There are six lists that are repeated every seventh year and apparently this is Dolly’s year and perhaps it was in 2002 (I don’t remember) and it will be again in 2014.

How do I know all this? Well, I wanted to know who names a hurricane Dolly? I don’t know their names but they are members of the World Meteorological Organization. Hey I want in. There certainly wouldn’t have been a Dolly on the list.

I found this great chart on retired hurricane names that date back to 1954 when they began the retirement process. It got me to thinking; can we have one of these for baby names? Do you think Social Security could retire names when they do all that other stuff they do with tax payer money to give us a report on popular baby names? I’m sure my family has used up its quota on the name Violet (paternal and maternal grandmothers both named Violet).

To reuse a name we could have a special exception for Juniors or to be named after someone within so many generations…or you could pay for a retired name to be reinstated, it could be an adopt a name program and we could spend the money on a good cause. If you are really eager to support the program you can pay money to add a name to the retired list…like the one you disagree on with your spouse or because there are five students with the same name in your child’s classroom.

We could also just simplify things and follow the lead of the World Meteorological Organization and rotate six lists of 26 names every seven years, of names we could spell.

But really folks, Dolly?

How far would you go for perfect feet? I’m thinking serving up your feet as a smorgasbord to hungry little feeding fish isn’t what you had in mind. For about $50 for 30 minutes you can have tiny carp nibble away your dead foot skin. Yum.

I’m still thinking about how far I would go. I’m pretty certain it isn’t that far though. I’m up for snuggling up with a soft kitty to de-stress at the end of the day. Maybe I’ll let my parrot rest on my shoulder and preen my hair to relax. But sticking my feet in a tub of warm water and ringing the dinner bell is not going to happen.

So, what’s it going to be for you, the Microplane Foot File (the predecessor to the PedEgg, whose manufacturing must be taking notes from Victoria’s Secret) or the hungry carp?

Here is an incredibly funny bit that aired on Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show last week Thursday, July 17, 2008 that I just had to bring to you. Here is true commentary on sexism, in case Mrs. Cynthia Good of PINK Magazine in Atlanta GA doesn’t know what it is.

Here is a link to the piece by Kristen Schaal, Senior Women’s Issues Commentator at The Daily Show. Maybe somebody should talk to The Daily Show; she doesn’t look like a senior to me.

Setting Cynthia Good’s efforts to right sexism in America aside, what do you think about the double standard that is brought up here? In light of this do you sympathize more with Good’s point of view?

And they’re off…dangling from the trees. Are her feet in the stirrups, who’s catching the babies? Doctor or dad? I know I can see something behind that black screen. And it’s a girl and another girl and oops, we got it WRONG!

That’s right. They got it wrong. One news outlet reported the babies were born a few weeks ago or so and another got the sex wrong on one of the babies. Maybe they thought they knew what fraternal twins were and took a chance.

It just goes to show you that too many people are following celebrity news instead of learning about biology.

So, has anybody lost their home yet in today’s economy?

While visiting a forum today I came across the discussion on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, discussing of all things, you guessed it, the twins’ names. Someone actually referred to the names Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon as being “graded” somewhere.

Tick, tock…tick, tock…really people. We need to grade baby names. Let’s just be as pleasant as we are when we look at an ugly baby and say how cute. Why is it less offensive to grade names and not the baby’s features. “Really unless those eyes turn brown you’ll never make the dean’s list…we better tape those ears down too.”

Am I disturbed by this new trend? Let me think about that…NOOOO.

I already know that I must deserve an F in baby names.

My oldest is Cristina and I’m annoyed that people are annoyed when I have to reiterate, “that’s Cristina without an H”…or even more annoyed when I fill out official paperwork and even though I spelled it correctly they correct me in case I’m wrong when they type it up. (That just happened.)

How about she is NAMED after a relative and that is the way it is spelled in the country they came from…or wait maybe some American at Ellis Island spelled it wrong when she signed in at Ellis Island and she was stuck with that awful name of Cristina without an H forever. If she only knew that her great-granddaughter now has to live with that same misfortune of a name. I only hope I annoy them more every time I spell it.

It is not my fault really. I mean the name I was cursed with, Violet, how awful is that (sarcasm guys). At least it isn’t the dark ages anymore and variety is the spice of life. I remember coming home from school with a paper that said Valerie all over it instead of Violet and my mom asked me why. I told her the teacher said nobody is named Violet, my name must be Valerie and she made me practice writing it. Surely my mother had really misspelled my name, I mean horribly misspelled it (Violet=Valerie, hmmm). So my mom gets an F too. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I don’t know how she could have gotten it wrong since her mom’s name is VIOLET and my dad’s mom’s name is VIOLET…okay the woman still gets an F, what was she thinking with that (you’ll note that I spell my name as Violette…for good reason, how confusing is that filling out official paperwork in a small town). I hope I annoy everybody when I spell my first name too.

Are you annoyed?

We know too much, more than we should. Our society gets carried away with the “issues”, and that is the issue. This week I saw headlines that spoke volumes in but a few words. We are voyeurs running from the mundane; we’ve run so far that we’ve forgotten where we’ve come from. Where I come from, I’ve been told if you’ve nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all… at least in front of the wrong people. How’s this for news? Don’t say anything you don’t want millions of people to hear while you are waiting to go on live TV.

Teacher Loses Job over Stern Appearance

I really don’t know the whole story and I’m not going to take the time to watch the video…but the woman appeared on Stern’s show with her husband (he’s probably the stupid one that got them in this mess), for winning an ugly dude/beautiful wife contest or something. She wasn’t sleeping with her second graders; she was talking about sex with her HUSBAND. Kudos to her, let’s bring some sex back into the marriage.

Husband of Hostage Admits Icy Reunion

Geez, don’t you think your wife feels bad enough about being a hostage for more than half a decade; do you need to tell the world about YOUR troubles? My gosh, how long has Ingrid Betancourt even been home? I think it was reported she was tied to a tree about a week ago and he’s concerned about the cold shoulder.

Christie Brinkley Settles Nasty Divorce

Tsk, tsk Christie. It is one thing to be a questionable wife (what is it now, three times, I lost count), but to air the laundry potentially in front of your children in today’s information age. SHAME. Now you win the questionable mother award.

Jesse Jackson Caught on Tape Trashing Obama

I remember a time when journalists sat down with you and would go to jail to protect their sources. What was FOX NEWS thinking? Fair and balanced my @$$. They’re ratings pigs like everybody else. And Rev. Jackson, I reiterate, don’t say anything you don’t want millions of people to hear while you are waiting to go on live TV…unless you wanted us to…

This was just a little bit of the baggage that bothered me this week. Some sad, some really sad or maybe really stupid.

What bugged you this week? Time to let it go.

The hospital where Jolie and Pitt are staying in France has reported to the news that any claims of photos having been taken in Jolie’s room are fakes…why? Because the hospital has covered the windows with a special material that cameras are not able to photograph through.

Are you rolling your eyes? All together now, let’s get a group eye roll going. You have got to be kidding. I know…this celebrity news is really important to a lot of people. Don’t we know it; I know a lot of celebrity bloggers who know this is their bread and butter.

My husband jokingly held up a magazine at Barnes & Noble last night, sorry forgot which magazine but it had a string of celebrity women pictured side by side posing the question of who is pregnant and who is not. I had to laugh as I said to him, “Don’t laugh, this is making people a lot of money.”

Setting that aside, all I have to say is since the death of Princess Diana you can really get a good feel for why the paparazzi are the lowest of the low. I couldn’t imagine being ready to give birth and having this kind of senseless exposure. AND don’t give me that crap about well they chose a public life…photos before, during and after birthing are not fair game.

I wish every mother of a member of the paparazzi could find their worthless piece of trash son (or daughter…do women even do this???) dangling from a tree, fence or ledge. I think nature would take its course then and some things would be straightened out fast.

Ladies I’m just Pink with confusion…and let me tell you here is a story that is hard to keep up with. Remember when Fox News tried to claim the phrase “fair and balanced” as its own property? Well pretty soon we won’t be able to use the word PINK. That’s right, that four letter word is causing all kinds of trouble in the ladies apparel industry.

Check it out…

April 8th 2008, Victoria’s Secret files suit against Macy’s Inc and Intertex Apparel Ltd for its inferior apparel – label “Pinkish.” Go figure, Pinkish is confusingly similar to Pink. Hello, I know the difference of walking into a Macy’s and walking into a Victoria’s Secret. It’s not as if I’m picking Pink or Pinkish up at my local Wal-Mart. It doesn’t matter if Macy’s uses a similar pup or crown on it, I won’t think I’m in a pet or liquor store either.

Pay attention…

A few weeks later Juicy Couture (Liz Claiborne’s couture selling at Barney’s, Bloomingdale’s and Saks) sues Victoria’s Secret for copying the color pink from JUICY. Juicy Couture says they stole everything right down to the marketing campaign strategy, packaging and of course the color pink.

You know I told you all about Victoria’s Secret weeks ago. Tsk, tsk, Victoria’s Secret, shame on you. They are working real hard to improve their image so they are going to take their wares out on the road and pander Pink to college students…sounds as honorable as the credit card companies doesn’t it. Credit, beer and lingerie are what college is all about. Oh and don’t forget Spring Break.

If you want to read more about this new campaign coming to a college near you or your daughter…or son…stop by Advertising at Its Best and read Changes in Victoria’s Secret Market…and How They’re Combating Decreased Sales. What a hoot.

Here’s something to think about Victoria’s Secret, I imagine that your losses are directly related to the fact that you are shutting out all the other customers who couldn’t care less about Pink. I’m willing to bet there are numerous customers like me who were quite shocked to walk in your stores in the last year or so and wonder what the hell happened. Here’s a clue, not all women are age 17 to 22. Oh my gosh, I remember my husband buying me the most beautiful and delicate all cotton night gown there years ago, too many years to count. WHAT HAPPENED?

You’ve been on the decline and quite frankly I won’t even walk through your doors to buy your bath and shower gels anymore let alone what used to be my favorite underwear…umm the ones without dangerous hardware ladies…I’m at the conservative panty table.

You buying anything at Victoria’s Secret? Is it PINK?

I missed Jaws!!!! I cannot believe I missed it. I must have let my daughters watch something because I remember it was raining…hmmm, Harry Potter, maybe that was it. We did catch Jaws 2. Roy Scheider was still in that one and the woman who played his wife, Lorraine Gary…and the Mayor and some of those annoying towns’ people. Richard Dreyfuss couldn’t make it of course, and hopefully you remember what happened to Quint in the first movie.

I was too tired for Jaws 3, I mean Jaws 3D which was the one where we gave Lorraine Gary as Ellen Brody a vacation…but she now has a cute all grown up son, Randy Quaid. I didn’t even know that movie was 3D. I still haven’t checked it out with 3D glasses.

What is even more unbelievable is Jaws The Revenge (Jaws 4). Maybe they thought it would sell better if it wasn’t numbered. There we have the now crazy Ellen Brody with a love interest played by Michael Caine…they were making up for her not having an affair in Jaws (I hear that was in Peter Benchley’s novel, she slept with the Mayor or her boss…both gross).

What do I care, I own the DVD…what I really want to know is when Ellen Brody gets eaten by a shark.

So do you still watch movies that you’ve seen before, and even yet, actually own a copy of in your movie library?

This is so sad and I thought I’d share this with you before it was too late. Victoria’s Secret model Karolina Kurkova is getting bad press in Brazil. Who knows when, but the revelation might mean her modeling career will soon be over (tongue in cheek guys).

Maybe it is just Brazil seeing this but rumor has it that Karolina Kurkova, one of the world’s biggest top models (she makes over $5 million a year), is FAT.

This video is a little old…November 2007. I saw her in a news video and honestly she doesn’t look much different than this…in fact I thought she looked great, wish I had that body. But you can be the judge…

Shame on Time and reporter Kathleen Kingsbury. Shame on principle Joseph Sullivan. Shame, shame, shame. Can anybody say remember a story Dan Rather once did?

I read this evening that Kathleen Kingsbury of Time has been caught telling two different tales of whether or not she talked to any of the pregnant teens. I’m not surprised and she should lose her job along with principle Joseph Sullivan. While we are at it, if I was the parent of any of those 17 girls I’d find it hard pressed to be as disappointed in them as I am in the school district and the media.

Are you kidding me? These are children, children that shouldn’t be having sex or getting pregnant maybe, but they are children. This story reeked of suspicion from the very start. Am I the only one who believes that something is amiss here with this story?

Remember school, can you tell me the biggest click in your school? Did it consist of 17 girls? Please. Do you know how many women try to get pregnant a year? It is actually harder than is purported. Even if what is being reported that eight or so had a pact, you’re telling me they could really all get prenant at the same time.

This is nothing other than a big coincidence. If it weren’t there would be about a handful of other girls or so that tried and were part of said pact that didn’t get pregnant. Talk to any doctor and I’ll bet you ten to one they’d agree with me. At least you’d think there’d be girls who decided not to try…and they’d be talking.

It is easy for Time’s Kathleen Kingsbury and principle Joseph Sullivan to say these things. Who’s going to believe a bunch of teenage girls that have already shamed their families enough? Who would think they would come forward?

While I believe there are teenage girls lacking maturity that think it is okay to get pregnant, there is no way I believe you can find 17 girls in one school who think it is okay to get pregnant. This is beyond belief. Remember the saying if it is too good to be true, then it probably isn’t.

And if it is true…I still stick by my shame on them, there is just a bit more shame and a bit more of them if there was a pact. The adults in this story are not out to help anybody, solve any problems, they all just get their names in the paper and denigrate the children in this story. Oops, maybe this is why this happened, I’m sure there’s more to this story than meets the eye, but we may never know and I hope that we don’t have to hear from Dr. Phil on this one.

I remember being a young middle school kid and a sixteen year old bus mate took me aside and told me how she would have to be leaving school and her life was about to change and she hoped the same thing never happened to me when I was older. I remember that. And I’ll tell you this, it was from the heart, and I really feel that there is no way there are 17 girls reveling in their predicament and shame on anybody who thinks otherwise. They are just trying to make lemonade out of lemons right now. Kudos to the couple that made an appearance on Good Morning America and explained the real pact of the matter.

So, I just wanted to say I’m tired of the blogs beating up on these girls. It serves no purpose. They are being painted as immature, selfish, witches who supposedly tricked a bunch of boys. Real nice. As usual the boys did no wrong, has anybody talked to any boys? I bet all involved are banking on them not coming forward too.

Come on, anybody having hindsight about this story? Anybody the least bit sorry for this kind of injustice? If it was your daughter? A little tough love? Or this?

Okay, after I just got through bashing Victoria’s Secret for their dangerous underwear someone is saved by a bra. Apparently it isn’t a Victoria’s Secret bra because I’m sure we would have seen a claim that they advertise that as one of their bra benefits…uplifting and lifesaving.

I love how the headlines read about this bra saving this young woman’s life, not her common sense to send a signal. Let’s give credit where credit is due, we know there is only one thing that will get a man’s attention, underwear. Victoria’s Secret doesn’t make those catalogs for women.

One story I read even makes it sound like it was a surprise that she gave up her bra and how it was a great thing she kept her shirt and coat for warmth. Either this person is a really bad journalist or just really sexist. She was in Germany though, maybe there is a problem with translation there. One would hope. It wasn’t too much of a problem for them to translate her DD bra size though in some other news stories.

I don’t know, should she have sent a sock instead?

While Margaret from Nanny Goats in Panties is obsessing over not being able to eat lemons (she read my GMA post on doom and gloom tonight, I’m upset about the lemons too), I’m going to bring you some more bad news in the way of your underwear.

Don’t laugh, I know you giggle before I even say what I’m about to say next, and maybe you’ve even heard it somewhere else already. My sister sent me the news since I missed it myself and it is so good that I have to share it with you.

There is a woman suing Victoria’s Secret…no, not that lawsuit…because while putting on a thong, I mean v-string or was it g-string, she suffered an eye injury. I said not to laugh. Okay, I don’t know which is worse, being Victoria’s Secret and getting sued, oh wait a minute that happens every day, or being this poor woman who has to go to court. Maybe she is banking on a settlement out of court.

Supposedly the victim was hit in the eye by a piece of decorative metal…underwear hardware? I checked VS’s v-strings and can’t find any with hardware so I’m supposing the culprit has been pulled post haste…and they themselves are looking to sue the original designer whom they may have stole the design from…

I’ll back track for just a second…that’s right I Googled the term Victoria’s Secret lawsuits and you wouldn’t believe the hits I get. Stealing numerous underwear designs, I mean really, allegedly receiving patent and design information from potential designers, cancelling meetings, and then low and behold a new Victoria’s Secret design hits the shelves.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all about thievery, there have been other injury lawsuits as well. One of their models was cut by an underwire bra. Who knew underwear was so dangerous? I’m going to have to be more careful getting dressed in the morning and stop buying underwear with hardware attached to it.

Will you be changing your dressing habits now that you are more informed of the dangers of underwear? What about your buying habits?

That’s right rumors are surfacing about potential VP’s and I haven’t heard a vpeep about Hillary Clinton being a candidate for the vice presidency. Really Obama? She’s so close, but no cigar. Never mind.

What will the Democratic Party do? Do I have to wait until the end of August to find out? The 2008 Democratic National Convention is August 25-28 in Denver and I can’t make it. I’ll be coming back from vacation in beautiful upstate-NY; there will still be mud on my boots from a rainy day at the Altamont Fair. No time to change and catch up with the democratic dudes and dudettes.

If you weren’t scared about the effectiveness of the Democratic Party consider this, I just Googled “democratic convention” and their convention link comes in second after the Democratic Convention news…and the one and only sponsored link is the Official RNC Convention Site…hmmm.

I was complaining about Good Morning America yesterday and how it is basically an oxymoron to get good news from GMA. I wondered if I was the only one with feelings like this and low and behold Warrior Girl who also writes at DomesticGlamor stopped by and after telling me her morning coffee is after organizing the kids, she said “[I] stay far away from the news.”

Do you start to think moms are the most uninformed people on the earth? Think about it, have you seen the content that passes for news these days?

Pretty much she is right to stay away from the news. News is pretty much inappropriate for children. If you need weather there is the weather channel, if you need traffic you can get that on most cable weather channels, what do you need the news for? Local news is good but there is more fluff than news. Any report of accidents or crime is more for shock value than to warn anybody.

I think real warnings should probably be reported on the weather channel as well. How about a crime map that tells me how many criminals there are in the different regions near my home and what the real percentages are of danger to me personally. I think we’d find that all these crime news stories are really less informative and less relative to us than the weather and pollen map. There is more of a chance that I’ll sneeze at a dandelion or perhaps need an umbrella than a chance that I should pack a gun and some mace in my purse.

I checked out Warrior Girl’s other site, Wonderlanding, her blog about finding joy in the adventure of everyday living. She calls that blogspot her “happy pages” and rightfully so. We all need happy pages…happy pages to write, to read and to share with each other. Weather should be shared…even traffic and pollen should be shared…but more importantly happiness should be shared.

All comments today should be happy thoughts.

Emmy winning Good Morning America wins again for Outstanding Morning Broadcast. Every morning they are there to bring you some music, update you on the national weather forecast and to share with you all the things that should strike fear in your hearts before you leave the house. Don’t worry they have fear for those who stay home as well.

I was catching up on some news and read three stories at ABC. They all happened to come from GMA. Well GMA does a lot of testing and I’ve learned that I should have my whole family take off their shoes before walking around the house and that I can’t put lemons in my drinks anymore. Also, while the airport security is protecting my flight, someone is stealing my things from the containers.

All right, I’m sure that this has to do with me reading a Good Morning America story…and they think lets link her to some more articles of the same…like YouTube. What I really want is some good news…I mean you’re called GOOD MORNING America for Pete’s sake, by the way, who the heck is Pete anyway? I’m sorry I digress.

Now I know why I don’t watch news much…especially in the morning.

What do you do in the morning? Enjoying that great cup of coffee and reflecting on your own good news?

Who cares about tie width when the tie is this cool? Trust me, nothing measures up to these ties from MoTwin Designs. Forget about buying one for dad or dear hubby for Father’s Day. I’m going to get a few of these for me! I think my hip tween would love them too. I think I saw a few that would go great with her fedora hat collection. To tell the truth if I bought one or two or three of these for dear hubby on Father’s Day, there is a good chance I’d get to wear them because I’m willing to bet he’s not going to try something this hip. I could be wrong…

Circle cut, diamond cut, square cut and oh, don’t forget regular cut if you just can’t break away from the traditional tie…no I didn’t measure the width but you better make sure you wear it with the right jacket.

Does your man like to try new things? Do you think he could become a MoTwin tie guy?

Macy’s wants to tell you that thin is in and to go with 3.5 inch ties for this Father’s Day. Of course I had just learned at the Tie Guide that 3.5 inches will never fall out of style. So, Macy’s isn’t really selling anything new. What are they trying to say, 3.5 inches is the new thin?

If you haven’t purchased that tie for Father’s Day yet I recommend that you should really check out the Tie Guide. It is filled with shopping tips and tie wearing tips.

Since I’m not a man, maybe I wasn’t supposed to know that the width of a tie should be quite similar to the width of the coat’s lapel…hmmm food for thought, why don’t they put this info in women’s magazines? You know, okay if you’re married you know, who is shopping for most of the men’s attire. Why is it I can get a study on how I might have spent my stimulus package but I haven’t seen one yet telling me who is buying men’s ties? I know, someone has a report out there somewhere.

And don’t think you’re the only one who would be happy to see a man in a tie let alone a tie and a jacket…but it won’t be on Father’s Day, at least not after church.

I love shopping for ties.

Are you a tie buyer? Tie wearer? A tacky tie collector?

I know my topic is Father’s Day…but remember Mother’s Day…remember the Nintendo Wii Fit that was selling for under $90 and wouldn’t be available till a week after Mother’s Day? Me too.

Well sometime after Mother’s Day, word got out about Wal-Mart’s HDTV Specials for Father’s Day. Supposedly prices have been cut on many High-Definition goodies for Father’s Day.

Let’s see, Play Station 3 for $399 with a $100 Wal-Mart Blu-ray gift card…well the $399 is not really a cut but giving you $100 to purchase movies is a deal…right?

Okay, I’m not even going to read the rest of the list. Essentially, there is nothing I’ve seen under $90 let alone under that $399. And excuse me but who do they think has to buy this…MOM. Can we get a class action law suit against Wal-Mart for discrimination of some sort…any sort?

If it weren’t for that stupid Nintendo Wii, I really wouldn’t be considering that 52-inch Sanyo 1080p LCD HDTV for $1,697…whatever that means.

Who wants to take bets I can find something else related to Father’s Day to rant about tomorrow?

I can’t resist the reference to one of my favorite movies, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. My husband returns today after being gone more than three out of the last four weeks. It is not that he travels too much…yet; it is more that when he has to travel he really has to travel.

So after all this time away, I get my wake up call when he gets to the airport. I’ve been busy about my routines of rushing my fifth grader to school for her trip to Dorney Park & Wildwater Kingdom…her fate at the hands of the new Voodoo ride awaits her…that is if she is tall enough.

I get home with the other two youngsters, the really young ones and my husband calls to update me on his travel delay. The plane thinks the crapper is full basically, to which the pilot says it has been verified it is not but as such the facilities will cease operation during the cross country flight unless the glitch is fixed.

My van has a dome override button to ensure my dome light doesn’t activate if I don’t want it too, do you think the plane could have a switch to ignore the signals it is being sent about the toilet?

So, I was disconnected from my husband and hope that the plane took off shortly afterward because I’ve had enough quality time with my three girls if you know what I mean and I really hope he doesn’t get lost on the way home.

Any travel tidbits that tickle you’re funny bone?

I was visiting femalegamer today and there was a post about video game companies incorporating advertising into their games. Now I see an up and a down side to this.

Let’s start with the down side. A great deal of advertising would be aimed at children. For what purpose? To annoy the heck out of parents, really. You know I applaud daytime Disney TV for the very fact that they don’t have daytime commercials during their preschool programming. Why wouldn’t I expect the same of a video game? Why can’t I expect that my child will set down to a favorite game of theirs and not be inundated with advertisements? Never mind that everybody wants to spend my money. How much did you say that video game cost?

Oh, the upside, thought you’d never ask, and while I’m guessing it is not a given, I’d like to ask why not. My why not question is with all this extra money being spilled into the video game industry will that equate to cheaper video games for my family? Ummm, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you? How much did you say that video game cost?

See, why do I pay money to see a movie and watch commercials? Why do I want to play a video game and watch commercials? Anyone?

It has been a fun filled week and I’ve been handling some auto business on and off while my husband is out of town. You know the kinds of things we ladies just love to deal with. Lucky for me my husband is a handy guy and chooses to do a lot of auto work himself, except when I remind him how busy he is and suggest the splurge of some other dude putting in parts and suffering through the labor that they get paid so well to do.

Well the salesman, I mean mechanic calls me the first day and gives me a rundown of all the parts and labor I need (and I compare this to the list my husband gave me of all the parts and labor he needs and expects…yes, very smart man, that one).

In a very clever way the salesman is listing off the things I need done now, or things he is recommending, then a list of the parts and labor that can wait…how thoughtful I think…NOT. So I instruct him to do nothing until I consult with my husband on the $650 worth of work he wants done now and the X amount for later. Aw, I’m sure he didn’t see that answer coming.

Needless to say my husband knocked a few items off that list and added items from the mechanics wish list for future work that did need to be done anyway and we walked away with the same price. He bought better tires online to ship to the mechanic for the same price the guy was going to charge for a cheaper style set of tires and said he would change his own car battery, I know, I think even I could do that. The salesman, I mean mechanic, did voice his concern over us losing our radio if we didn’t do it correctly, um, thanks for the tip. He has no idea who he is dealing with…my husband made me hold a muffler while he installed it once. Now I know I am capable of claustrophobia. It is good to know these things.

I might add here that this guy is potentially our new mechanic as our previous mechanic retired…or perhaps he disappeared so he didn’t have to bring my husband’s 66 BelAir back to life.

So do you feel like you’re buying a car when you get your car serviced these days? The itemization is great, and I’m sure it helps individuals who really need all this work done to split up the non-essentials or things that can wait a little longer to wear out but please, please people…maybe he wasn’t trying to rip me off per say, but he seemed to have such a snazzy way for doing what he was trying to do.

Okay, someone used the word Spam and Velveeta on my site and now I have links to gastric bypass and a large size skirtini…there’s an oxymoron…lets move on to DICK Cheney…

Yes, I know I pooh-poohed all the to-do about Sharon Stone and her comments in China. Well Dick Cheney has inserted both feet. While many may think that old Byrd is being too politically correct, let’s say that again…politically correct, I would think that perhaps the Vice President would have it in is job description to automatically be politically correct. Even if he isn’t up for reelection, or running for President exercise some common sense. Even if he was ragging on himself, it was still in poor taste.

And my gosh Byrd, thou dost protest too much. If I was West Virginia, I would have wished that you were the one to let it slide. Do you think they care what Dick Cheney says?

Chato visited the other day with some crazy talk about Spam and today I figured out what he was talking about.

I was disturbed today to read at the Preparedness blog the news that Spam was making some kind of a comeback…I know, you have that lump in your throat now too.

It is really disconcerting how low people will sink to survive. I’m on it if it will fuel my car, there must be a way to generate fuel from that block of putrid fat. So let’s work on that because surprisingly per pound it is cheaper than gas, but not cheaper than other things.

So to ensure I don’t suffer a fate worse than Spam, or Spam itself, I’m counting my pennies…at Counting Pennies of course. I found a great link to a USDA document to prepare nutritional meals at minimal cost there…note to self, remember to spend stimulus package money on toys from China and not food. Plus if I start commenting now I might win a few eBooks over there during her June contest.

Act now before you need Spam.

So what is your favorite worst food?

Well it is nearly June and I’ve lost track of what Hillary is doing, and I’ve tuned out the religious rhetoric of who subscribes to what church. I guess I’ve just lost my momentum…like the candidates I’m sure.

I’m starting to feel as if election season is taking pointers from the holiday season. How soon can we start it…and when we finally get there was all the excitement worth it?

I may rant about politics but on most days I just rant. Here are some places to get the political news you so desire…unless your political muse is past its use by date too.

Political Chatter has it going on and I believe he is a former insider…really.

Check out Conservative Ally… well, what can I say? She is conservative.

If you are really conservative it doesn’t hurt to read two conservative sites…protect yourself from the liberals…don’t miss Conservative Politics. There is talk over there about a racist candidate. That warrants a peek doesn’t it?

And if you are just like me, done with politics, you will find me over at Beer & Me.

Tell me where you’re stopping by, I’ll bring a mug for you.

Have you seen Sharon Stone lately? Never mind, but I bet you’ve heard her. Okay, it needs to be said. Do we care what Sharon Stone said about China? Did it hurt you or me? Personally, you want to be an @$$ than have at it, open that mouth wide and insert big foot. Although it really wasn’t social commentary she was aiming for…she asked herself a question and shared it with the world…I wonder if she got an answer.

The whole trouble is we run to therapists who tell us it is okay to feel something, think something, try to act appropriately but not impose “the shoulds” on other people but yet we hear people telling us to suppress those feelings, don’t think for ourselves and act like everybody else and giving us the “shoulds.” All this PC is BS to me…that would be Painful Commentary in BigShoes…so don’t quote me as I don’t want to see my name on the front of my Comcast login tomorrow as the top news story.

Karma…did you hear the one about the Chinese cinema banning Sharon Stone?

I hope the weekend was great for you all. Mine was good. I went to having the “experienced” tech fix my cable to having my “experienced” husband install a DVR. We are all considerably more happy around here when there are no arguments about who watches what, who is missing the end of a tween movie because some network guru decides to put kid movies on from 8 PM to 10 PM. I don’t know about the rest of you but when I was a kid my bed time was somewhere around 7:30 and 9:00 when I was young. I don’t think I stayed up past 9:00 until I was into high school.

Don’t get me wrong, we don’t really watch a lot of TV. We are too busy for that, it is just that every time we want to sit down everybody has a different idea. My idea does not include the Disney or Nick evening lineup. Plus I want my kids in bed by a certain time so I certainly don’t entertain the idea of starting a movie you can’t watch if you need to go to bed. Remember when Disney movies started at 7:00 PM? See it is not my imagination.

So now I have the DVR, and the first movie we recorded, Flubber with Robin Williams, is apparently going to stay on that DVR machine forever as the kids all love it and they can watch it anytime they want and in multiple parts like a miniseries, or just the bouncing, dancing green Flubber parts like the two year old loves and mommy won’t ever miss the shows she needs to blog about on USA and SciFi.

Life is good…and the best, we now have two cable remotes for the kids to misplace…

I know I’ve told you once before that I’m busy. I’m busy and my children should not lose the one cable remote we have for the one cable box we have in the house, for if they do, they get no television when it rains or when they are bored.

So, when I’m busy and I have, that would be me and maybe my husband, so I mean when I or we have time to watch television, we want the cable to work as well…if we are lucky enough to find the remote. Last Friday our favorite cable channels were acting up. Now this would be the same favorite cable channels that always act up when we have problems. Since I’ve been forced into digital, when these fav channels act up I of course blame it on the digital cable.

Now I don’t ask for much, but it is nice to have the cable channels you watch working when you want to watch them. I don’t want to watch my local town meeting, the weather channel or the Catholic channel, (yes the only kid show I could find yesterday afternoon was a cartoon teaching children the mysteries of the rosary). All favorite channels were out for every member of the family, no PBS, Disney, Nick or Cartoon Network and no USA, SciFi or Comedy Central.

And since you know I’ve been busy I didn’t pay attention when the kids complained or when my husband complained and a few days went by before I broke down and called the cable company yesterday…because only women know how to make service calls.

The conversation was pretty much me complaining, nicely, about my cable dilemma and how I’ve had numerous visits and how this problem keeps happening at random and I can’t understand why the cable Gods are able to selectively deactivate just the channels that my family watches.

After explaining past visits and what each technician has done the cable operator says to me, “I’m sorry; I’m putting down on your call sheet that we should send an experienced technician out.”

Tick, tock, tick, tock…

My husband asks me what the experienced technician did that the other technicians couldn’t do. I told him he could climb a ladder and change the cable from the house to the pole that was too old.

I never knew there were so many primaries that could count. Neither did the Democratic Party. What will happen to us this year? What will happen to our country? Whatever it is, it is not going to be as fun as what could happen at the 2008 Democratic Convention. Don’t you wish you could be there to support Hillary, I mean Barack, I mean Hillary, did you mean Barack?

Here’s an SNL skit that aired recently. Enjoy.

…are you still counting?

Oh, it is a good day. I was visiting Nanny Goats in Panties yesterday… I know that’s hard to say out loud so I consider it a two for one that I can crack up twice in one day from reading one post. She was discussing her petrified mac n’ cheese, the result of inappropriate microwaving, which of course leads me to believe she is a packaged mac n’ cheese girl and maybe not the connoisseur of edible, two-, three- or four-cheese baked yummy goodness. As a native of chilly upstate-NY we’ve probably cornered the market on comfort food out east. Meanwhile she gives a shout out to her friend Tootsie Farklepants at Vintage Thirty…well any friend of Nanny Goat’s is a friend of mine.

So I go to visit Tootsie and she is giving away a gift certificate to See’s Candies…real See’s chocolate. Oh, remember how I wanted some for Mother’s Day…yes he shipped a box of See’s truffles to me and I am down to but a few small morsels. So I had to enter my name of course and am so crossing my fingers and toes…and eyes. I mean, come on, I must have the record for the most See’s Candies links in a post. Today.com must think I work for them or something…Not.

Don’t just visit Tootsie for the See’s Candies certificate contest…visit her for her wit, sarcasm and way with pet peeves.

I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting…and guess what I got today? A note from the government regarding my stimulus payment. How helpful is that? This is one of those moments when I’m very proud of my country…pause for you to pick up that sound bite and hold it against me when my husband runs for president…NOT.

Yes my form letter came today reminding me how I filed, how much I’d be getting, when I should be getting it and who to notify if I don’t get it. Wow…that would be so helpful and worth the millions of dollars that campaign cost if it had come before my tax rebate check that I received on this Saturday past…tick, tock, tick, tock…LOL.

That was very stimulating, wasn’t it?

Let’s cut to the chase and call it like it is. Government is evil. They spawn evil plans that waste time and money and degrade the human race. These tax rebates are the devil in disguise I’m sure, so hold onto your purses ladies, take control of your stimulus payment now.

It started out as a simple plan to stimulate the economy. Our country borrows money (we need to borrow money?) from another country to give us money to stimulate the economy via a tax rebate, which analysts say is not enough but that is a discussion for another day.

Anyway, so we’re getting some money. Now trying to figure out when and how you will get your money is more difficult than finding out how far the earth is from the moon. I read the plan, something about the last two digits of my social security number and how I filed and oops they left off the small print and now TurboTax and whomever have to re-explain how you get your money based on how you filed with them.

I’ve heard tell that over 50,000 phone calls a day are calling the IRS to check on their tax rebate checks…a gift of money really, by the way would you call your grandmother up and ask her when your birthday card with the $20 was coming? I didn’t think so. Thanks for helping raise the cost of your gift if you called.

But, in all fairness, we are all entitled to a portion of the gift and you think the government would explain the tax rebate better, since they have our full attention and we might be missing the cost per barrel of oil during this fiasco…okay, maybe not. Besides I know we all need it, I need it, but the Administration and Congress is said to have “underestimated the need for cash in most US homes because they did not see inflation coming.” I must be clairvoyant because I saw it coming.

So you can go visit the IRS Where’s My Stimulus Payment. I’ve heard it isn’t very helpful but you can visit it and go through the exercise a few times before you become one of the 50,000 a day callers to the IRS that tries to find the answer to the question Where’s My Stimulus Payment?” But in fairness to the government this time, didn’t you read the part that says that the information about your payment won’t be available in their online system until about a week before your rebate is scheduled to be issued? I know, it should really say, I’m sorry but information on your tax rebate is only given out to mind readers who already know whent they will get their tax rebate. Okay, maybe I’m not clairvoyant.

Meanwhile, everybody who wants your money once you finally get it is really helpful. ATM’s are asking me to inquire about saving it, my church wants me to do good with it, scammers are trying to steal the tax rebate in new clever ways and the government really wants me to spend money on products from the country we borrowed it from (see Ben Stein on Glenn Beck). Can I have a show of hands from anybody who had to pay for oil with their credit card this winter?

Surveys are showing we are not going to be spending our money where the government intended. We won’t be buying cars, new clothes or electronics. I’m paying down debt and extra costs incurred due to inflation along with the rest of the tax rebate recipients.

Don’t get me wrong, the government is doing some good, dead beat parents will lose their tax rebates to pay back child support. I guess this makes up for the government denying money to filers married to someone without a social security number, including our soldiers overseas who are married to foreign spouses.

Tell me your thoughts, is this tax rebate doing anything but costing the government more time and money than it is worth? Are we going to be paying for this fiasco for the next four or more years?

The news since last year was that the Russian army was out of shape and they were facing an overhaul. You see they needed to get fit and fast. One third of their top officers are overweight and many have failed their fitness tests.

What do you think is motivating the Russian army to get into shape? Designer Valentin Yudashkin’s new uniform for the Red Army. Sounds like swimsuit season to me. To support them during this crisis they were provided with gyms and swimming pools. Hey, what happened to boot camp or is that kind of diet and fitness spa only available back here in the states?

So, when you try to think about your fitness in a new light, don’t over think it. Sometimes it is all about the slinky red dress or the summer swimsuit or the skinny new army uniform…and that is okay if it gets us fit.

I don’t know, I watched the video and I still can’t figure which dress they will be wearing can you?

Here’s the updated news story if you want to see them pictured prior to them marching in their annual Victory Day parade last